Have you ever lost a friend? I don’t mean losing that person to death. Or to marriage. Or to a different path in life. Or to migration, because technology allows us to remain connected cerebrally, if not physically. I’m talking about the person who departs the relationship, and leaves you with the impression that it was not worth fighting for.
Friendship as an adult is quite different from what pertained when we were children. My daughter used to refer to a friend at school, and even though she didn’t know her name at the time, I don’t think the ‘friend’ would have been offended; but as adults we tend to be a bit more discriminating.
Unlike Facebook “friends”, a lot of us would agree that most of the people (besides family), who populate our lives, are actually acquaintances, who, while they make life interesting, are not the people that we expect to have our backs. But the ones who we would defend against the bad talkers, encourage in the difficult times, support in the not-so-happy times, rejoice with during the joyous times and share with at all times, are the ones we call friends.
These are the ones to whom we tell our secrets, but they are also the ones who we can call out if we don’t like something they did or said. They are the ones to whom we can read our wish list, but who don’t mind when we read them the riot act. Friends are the ones who don’t always tell you what you want to hear, but will always tell you what you need to hear. And in returning the favour that is friendship, we should accept it in the spirit that it was intended.
In T.D. Jakes’ sermon entitled “Let Them Go”, he says that people can and will walk away from you, and that you should let them, since your destiny is not tied to them. It just means that their part in your story is over.
I believe that people are put in your life for a reason, but some of them will only remain for a season; and if you’re lucky, it will be after they are gone that you will realize why they were there, and also realize why they are no longer there. And you will know that it would have happened sooner or later. And sooner is better.